If you’re saying celebrity relationships, you’re probably thinking what most people are thinking, and it’s divorce.
Except for a few lucky marriages that have stood the test of time in Tinseltown, Hollywood relationships just don’t last. We ogle over Kim Kardashian’s 72-day marriage and pass judgment over TomKat, Heidi and Seal and others. We like the train wrecks, and watch them regularly. But sometimes I find it strange that people invest in celebrity relationships.
When Amy Poehler and Will Arnett divorced, I was shocked at the number of people who said, “This is so sad. If they can’t make it last, who can?” There were feeds even on how to recover from it. But I feel that’s oversimplifying, and typically the people who invest in other relationships haven’t been through enough of their own.
It’s a twisted spectrum we live on – we see people fail and we revel in their failure, and then sometimes we pity on those who have failed. But as someone who has been down that path, divorce is hard no matter what you do, the circumstances of the marriage or who sympathizes with whom. And no one is immune from it, either, not even if you have a huge mansion in the Hollywood Hills.
Sometimes people get into marriage for the wrong reasons, like making $20 million on endorsements. Some people don’t know what they’re in for, like the Church of Scientology. But in general, or so it would seem, celebrities get married for the very same reasons that we all do: Because we love the other person, we have identified common life goals and values, and feel this is a person that we can make our journey with until the end of our days. I don’t think a single person walks down the aisle and thinks, “Hmm, I can see this working maybe for three years or so, until my career really starts to take off.” Unless you’re the previous mentioned Kardashian.
But with celebrities, it seems to be more of a risk factor. Why, you may ask? My personal theory is the industry. There are power struggles and people often don’t know their place from job to job. In addition, Hollywood people often work insane hours, and when they’re not working they’re often schmoozing to see what they can do to get that next big thing. There’s often not enough time to nourish a relationship and be able to make it work. It can make for a rocky life. Marriage is already uncertain enough as it is.
Some figure it out after a while, and find the keys to make their relationships work. But despite that there are still not enough guarantees in the world that it’s going to last. Marriages sometimes fail, even the ones that we think are absolutely perfect. And no matter how many “‘Til death do us parts,” a couple may say when they renew their wedding vows, that’s just not going to change.
Growing up in Los Angeles, this is sort of my world. We see the great white weddings and then the bitter divorces that come afterwards. Sometimes we see more of the divorce than we do of the wedding, and sometimes it’s the other way around. When it came time for my own divorce, sometimes I felt like hiding out at the Chateau Marmont like Lindsay Lohan. But eventually, it came down to the facts that, in Hollywood and real life, nothing lasts forever.
Celebrity or not, it boils down to this: We all have paths that we need to walk. People join us on that path, and they walk it with us for the long haul. Sometimes they don’t. Sometimes they disappear completely, or sometimes they show up from time to time. Often their little place in our lives changes our paths for the long term, bringing new people onto our paths to continue the journey with us. But no matter where we go and no matter who we become, they are a part of our lives, be it for better or for worse. And nothing changes it, no matter if you’re in fancy Louboutins or a pair of ratty Converse. We all walk the same road and we’re all in the dance.